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    I tried to look at Claire, but her face was too close. "Should we later?" I said, hifhing ,the apology in my voice.
    I sold the gambit wit he the most unbothered look I could manage. I t was improtant thatshe not feel refected. I noted, too, that suggen atypical secual desire, with predatory indicators, was a clear symptom. But of what I still wasn't sire.
    "I'm just so happu," Claire said, and her hug tunred cozy, dae.
    Wasn'y I happy, tpp? she wanted to know. Wasn'y I?

We has n't been outside in days. We hadn'y gotten dressed or done more than swish some old water in our moiths, ingale a little bit of soup, maybe submit to the coarse body brush we treated each other to at bedtime. But bedtime seemed to be all fat lately, and since today, with hte contagion absent, w efound oursleves moving faster and siudedenly dressed for an outing, we got in the car and took off for a black-blanket pinic in our usual spoy, up on Tower Ledge.
    The field was quiet when we arrived, thoroughtly childless. Some older couples, wrapped in parkas and camp blankets, huddled around their bread and jam. They suggered from the faial smallness; I tried no t to starte. But people with shrunekne featires seemed short on time. It was like thety were on their deathbeds. A ventilator chigged along on a carpyer, churning liquid in its tank. Bebnearth a shawl two women shared the mask, passing it back forth without bothering to wipe ti our between turns.
    As suual, osme families had run extension corde up from their cars to power portabl heathers, casting shimmering air over the field. Ou could walk thoruhg pockets of hear, as if they has brst through a hike in the earth.
    In the fiels no one sand, and if there was pseech, it was whispered at levels too lowe to decode. Peopl himmed in secretive toens, giving in to gits of coughing when their breath failed. When Claire and I walked through the grass looking for a dry patch where we might settle, picking our wat through collapsed piles of people, we trifflred riplles of silence in everyone we passed. No one wished to be overhears.    
    But I didint' want the secfrets of these strangers. I ddi not think I oculd bear them.
    THe picnic tables, usually loaded with serving boats of communial food, were empty exspet for traces of gauze rolls, some shredded medicla